The Great Money Rapture of 2008 has Happened! Jesus Took the Money -- and Not the People -- to Heaven! Satan Now Free to Roam the Earth and Cause Tumult.
In a stunning metaphysical repudiation of the uniquely American heresies known as Evangelical Christianity and Wall Street, Jesus came back and, as the old saying had it, boy was he pissed!
Jesus recently returned to Earth and found that Gopianity -- yet another portmanteau word I have created by fusing GOP + Christianity -- had risen to power and basically destroyed the economy of America. To be sure, other forms of religious and political Corruption and Greed had infected America, China, Russia, Europe, and the Middle East. However, the marriage of American Evangelicals and the Republican Party gave birth to especially dangerous Demons who spawned war, profligate deficit spending, excessive and easy credit, foolishly dangerous home loans, and the rest of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Essentially, Satan's Agents, masquerading as Angels of Light to their respective constituencies, rose to political and financial power after which they raped and plundered the world in this decade. Angered that the Leaders of the Human Race had once again acted in unrighteous ways that have harmed the working people of the World, God acted in Judgment and sent Jesus to Rapture all of the Money off the Earth. Without money, these demons are at risk of incurring the outrage of the global citizenry to whom they have lied. There will be Revolution.
Beginning in the late 1970's, America's Evangelical Christians traded their Birthright of Salvation for Political Power and Wealth. While the ostensible goal of "Dominion Theology" was to establish the Kingdom of God on Earth, demons nevertheless crept in unawares and lied to the Evangelicals. These demons promised to outlaw abortion and homosexuality and the naive Evangelicals in turn gave them their votes and huge amounts of money to win political office. In retrospect, whether people like George W. Bush and his father, James Dobson, or William Kristol were ever really saved remains a mystery here on earth. Oddsmakers in Hell have placed the line at 10 to 1 that these people were never actually saved. Judging from the fruits of their labor, Hell looks to be correct on this question.
Due to this Gigantic Global Fraudaffluence, God recently sent Jesus to Earth to conduct a surprise Money Rapture. To the utter chagrin of wealthy religious people and rich atheists alike, The Great Money Rapture of 2008 "caught up"countless trillions of dollar to Heaven. It was just as the 13th Apostle had warned us in his 1st epistle to the Thessalonians:
Now, brothers, about times and dates we do not need to write to you, for you know very well that the day of the Lord will come like a thief in the night. While people are saying, "Peace and safety," destruction will come on them suddenly, as labor pains on a pregnant woman, and they will not escape. (I Thess. 5:1-3)
The trillions of dollars that were Raptured to Heaven will be burned this Christmas season in God's Fireplace. Even now as I write, Saint John is laughing at the wealthy and powerful of this World as he shovels their hundreds of billions of dollars taken by Bernie Madoff, Wall Street, and Congress into God's Fireplace. Those souls in Heaven who were poor in this World will gather round God's Fireplace to toast the freshest marshmallows plucked by the Cherubim from the luminous Clouds of Grace and Mercy that surround God's Throne. The Poor are now Rich in Spirit as they bask in the Shekinah Glory of God. The wealthy of this World are now Poor as they curse others (but never themselves). Were Job's Comforters' present, they would surely recommend to the Fallen Wealthy that they, "Curse God and Die."
The countless billions of dollars that the wealthiest people in the world have lost prove that in the Eschaton there is indeed a reversal of the Order of Life. The wealthy have been brought down low and exposed as the worst of Sinners. The words of the Prophet Hosea arise from antiquity to indict the Fraudaffluents who have plundered the world's economy for their own gain:
The merchant uses dishonest scales; he loves to defraud.
Ephraim boasts,
"I am very rich; I have become wealthy.
With all my wealth they will not find in me
any iniquity or sin."
"I am the LORD your God,
who brought you out of Egypt;
I will make you live in tents again,
as in the days of your appointed feasts.
(Hosea 12: 7-9)
The wealthy liars are Ephraim; they are Wall Streeters and Big Business who hid behind the labels of Conservative, Liberal Moderate, Evangelical, God and Country, or whatever labels it took to convince people to entrust their life savings, 401K's, pensions, and financial safety to them. And then these Wall Streeters and people in Big Business betrayed that trust and plundered the financial systems of the US for their own avarice. That is why Jesus took all of their ill-gotten money away in the Money Rapture.
The Wall Street bankers and the CEO's of Big Business considered that their wealth made them the perfect predators who were righteous: Their victims deserved it. Their victims had it coming for being greedy and stupid. And yet pride always comes before a fall. These Fraudaffluents waved the Bible, the American Flag, promises of high returns on money, or whatever else it took to work their con. They then raped and plundered with what they thought was utter impunity. However, their Ponzi Scheme of derivatives and arcane financial trickery has now collapsed. Many of these people are now being caught, exposed, bankrupted, and some even imprisoned.
The cover over the two trillion dollars that the US Congress allowed Henry Paulson to give his friends on Wall Street will be torn asunder very soon. We will all get to know the names of faces of those people who took our tax dollars. And surely God's Judgment will fall upon them individually and collectively. The Money Rapture will impact 2009 and beyond as Karma inexorably works to balance the scales. The financial criminals will be broken upon the wheel of history; President Bush and his financial people were no better than Bill Clinton and his financial crowd. The labels of Conservative and Liberal no longer matter, for they have no meaning in the face of an imploding economy.
Religion did play a major role in the Great Money Rapture of 2008, for the fusion of Evangelical Christianity and Republican-dominated politics resulted in a US that was ultimately controlled by Wall Street and not by any Christian principles whatsoever. During his ministry, Jesus had specifically commanded that his disciples feed the poor, take care of widows and their orphans, and visit those who are in prison. Gopianity found such orders from the Savior to be wholly inconvenient and preferred instead to invest its money in stocks, bonds, and donations to gain political power, in particular the power over all three branches of the American government. Once Gopianity had seized the White House and Congress and held sway on the Supreme Court, this bastardized amalgam of Church and State destroyed all of the financial rules, tore up the US Constitution, and realized the heart-desire of the Neocons: To launch its beloved, yet ultimately bankrupting, War on Terror. This "War" is one part Oil and one part codespeak for the Crusades of Bush I and Bush II. (When will the religious insanity end? When will Christianity and Islam realize that they can only ever play each other to a tie? When will the world denounce insane religious and political warfare altogether and demand honesty and justice?)
Gopianity found it highly useful for decades to perpetuate a massively polarizing fight against abortion and gay rights. Surely, as Rome burned, the Evangelicals in the White House and in Colorado Springs blamed it all on gay people and abortion. This was the blind leading the blind; this was James Dobson telling George Bush that Jesus had Bush's back. Gay rights and abortion were moral distractions designed to focus people's attention elsewhere. Many people were so caught up in these polarizing issues that they ignored the financial realities. Had abortion and gay rights been made States Rights issues in the 1970's, the larger Federal focus could and should have been concerned with Fiscal Responsibility, a notion completely alien to the Bush Administration and its friends on Wall Street and in Big Business. The children and grandchildren of the "Greatest Generation" did nothing except to ruin the America for which their parents had fought, sacrificed, and died for.
Shielded from view by the polarizing distractions of Gopianity's screaming blowtorches such as Rush Limbaugh and FoxNews, the Pigs of Wall Street and Big Business gorged themselves at the Troughs of Broken Capitalism. Astonishingly, these Pigs ignored the sensible bonmot that they had fed to we retail investors for decades: Hogs get fat, pigs get slaughtered. And so the Pigs of Wall Street and Big Business have been led off to slaughter in the Great Money Rapture of 2008. Their money has gone to "Money Heaven" while they find themselves in a most discomfiting and unfamiliar position.
Jesus said, "As a man sews, so shall he reap." Thus, just as the Pigs of Wall Street and Big Business cynically butchered Everyman, both now find themselves inescapably on the hook:
Photo Credit: AP Photo by Color China Photo